


The Diary of Ryuuzaki Sumire

by Aishuu



Category: Prince of Tennis
Genre: Community: temps_mort, Crack, Diary/Journal, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Smut, The Livejournal exodus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 19:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1829407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/pseuds/Aishuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trials of being the coach of one of the gayest tennis teams in existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Diary of Ryuuzaki Sumire

**Author's Note:**

> One of my “crack fics” with way too many implied pairings. Written for temps_mort (a timed LJ challenge) in 55 minutes in 2004.

We held our ranking matches today, and not only does that usually give me an idea of who the regulars are going to be and what their strengths are, but it also lets me know what the personalities are going to be, and if... that... is going to be a problem. It’s been a quiet few years, so I should have expected it, especially with this year’s class of seniors, but I had been hoping...

It’s going to be one of those years – I can feel it in my bones. They come and go, but this one is going to be especially bad.

I’m not worried about making nationals. I’m pretty sure the team will be good enough to do it rather easily... though I’m not telling them. No, it’s the _other_ thing that’s the problem.

Why are all the pretty ones usually so... _gay?_

*

As I expected, the Golden Pair is going to be my worst problem. After practice I almost caught them making out behind the clubhouse. They managed to break it off just in time, but I haven’t been a coach for... well, a while... without learning how to recognize that look. Kikumaru’s face was still a bit flushed, and Oishi was adjusting his shirt in front of himself to hide what I’m sure was a rather large boner.

Why the hell did I nickname them the Golden Pair? It was just asking for trouble.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not homophobic. But if Ishikawa finds out about how much trouble they get into, he’s going to cut my funding. And I’m sick of walking into the teacher’s lounge and losing the “my team is less gay than yours” game.

Thank god I have Tezuka. There’s no way he’s going to tolerate anything that even resembles fooling around on his team. Not only did I appoint him because of his superior skills, but there’s no way he’ll ever start messing around with one of his teammates.

I’ll admit it – ulterior motive.

*

Good day today. Practice actually went smoothly. No incidents.

*

I haven’t made up my mind what to think about Fuji. He was a regular last year, too, and I never caught him doing anything wrong... but that could just be that I never caught him. I always get the feeling he’s laughing at me.

I need to break his habit of calling me “Sumire-chan.” Fighting him, though, may just not be worth it.

Inui dragged out something he called Inui Juice as a punishment to those who failed to complete the training exercise as planned. Everyone (well, except Tezuka but Tezuka is always an exception) ended up drinking it, and they all ended up nearly passing out, except Fuji.

Fuji is like that, though.

I had to end practice early so they could recover – but we’ll see if the negative reinforcer helped. One positive thing immediately sprang to mind - the Golden Pair were too sick to “comfort” each other.

*

Please let me hold on until after nationals. I’m retiring after this year...

Kawamura and Fuji.... Kawamura and Fuji....

I caught Fuji tracing patterns in Kawamura’s good hand with his fingertips, talking about how skilled a sushi-chef’s hands were. It wasn’t just the conversation...

It was where Fuji’s _other_ hand was.

*

Echizen Ryoma is a problem child, of course, but not entirely in the way I was expecting.

I thought he’d annoy his senpai (he has), show off (which he does constantly) and chase girls. It’s the chasing girls thing he apparently hasn’t inherited from his father. He could just be too young, but I remember Nanjirou at that age.

Bad train of thought. Anyway, the problem is Ryoma.

A few of his senpai are taking a rather close, personal interest in him. I’ve caught Tezuka, Fuji, Inui, Momoshiro and Kaidou all staring at him for periods of time that are longer than appropriate. Tezuka is probably only interested in him because of that “pillar of tennis” thing he has going, and Kaidou most likely only sees him as a rival, but the other three are worrying.

Fuji and Inui always make me worried, because I have no way of knowing what either of them are thinking. And Momoshiro....

He takes his rivalry with Kaidou just a bit too far, and I’ve got serious suspicious about the way he lets Ryoma ride to school with him.

There is no _way_ I’m going to let Ryoma fall into the trap of Seigaku.

*

Arranged with Nanjirou to have Sakuno coached by Ryoma. She may not be the best choice for him, but at least she’s a member of the correct gender.

*

Ryoma is a thick, thick child. Maybe too thick to notice the sexual tension flying around him, which may be his saving grace. If I can just get this class of seniors to graduate before they influence him, it may be alright.

Though Momoshiro and Kaidou....

Kaidou wouldn’t know sex if it hit him upside the head wearing a nametag, but Momoshiro is one of those “basic instinct” kids I get pretty consistently – all about keeping himself fed, doing well in sports, and has a really dirty mind.

I swear he gets turned on by picking fights, but at that age, boys get turned on by walking across the street. I’m just worried that one day he’s going to stop yelling at Kaidou and start kissing him. And Kaidou, being Kaidou, won’t back down....

*

I watched the first years high-tail it out of the club room, screaming something about Kikumaru-senpai and Oishi-senpai.

I do not want to know. Ignorance is bliss, Sumire, ignorance is bliss...

*

Have taken to wearing a heavy key ring. It’s annoying, but it jingles as I walk, and the boys have quickly caught on. I haven’t walked in on anything, though Oishi and Kikumaru have had one or two close calls. I figure if I can honestly say I didn’t catch them, it will keep me out of trouble if I ever get brought before the school board. This is one of the worst teams I’ve ever had.

Must do my best to keep Ryoma from being corrupted. Nanjirou will never let me hear the end of it...

...though it might just be worth the laugh, if that lech’s son ended up gay.

Bad Sumire! Don’t think like that!

*

Tezuka asked for permission to have a private match against Ryoma.

It was a bit weird – he could have just arranged to do it outside of the club, but I guess he wanted my approval. I am a bit worried, considering his arm and how we’ve got quarter-finals coming up, but Tezuka assured me it would be fine.

He’s very intent on improving Ryoma’s tennis. It’s wonderful – sometimes I think those two are the only ones in the club (with the exception of Kaidou) who actually are here to play tennis and not fool around.

Inui was studying Fuji today in a way that made me wonder if Inui isn’t considering gathering some “private” data on our tensai, and I swear Fuji winked at me when he noticed me looking at them.

The insufferable bastard.

*

Please tell me that wasn’t a hickey I saw on Tezuka’s neck today.

Please tell me that wasn’t a hickey I saw on Tezuka’s neck today.

Please tell me that wasn’t a hickey I saw on Tezuka’s neck today.

*

I tried to get a closer look at Tezuka’s neck, but he didn’t take his jacket off, so there’s no way I can be sure. I’m trying to convince myself it was some kind of rash, but I’m not stupid.

I recognize a hickey when I see one.

Maybe Tezuka’s gotten himself a girlfriend?

And pigs fly. The question is, which one was it? He had that game with Ryoma...

No, please, no... not them, too...

*

St. Rudolph’s went down pretty easily, though the Golden Pair lost. They took off pretty quickly after to have some “partner bonding time” so I’m pretty sure I have a good idea what they got up to.

The Momoshiro-Kaidou pair worked out well... too well. I need to make sure I don’t form another regular doubles pair, because if I do, I’m screwed...

Or someone else is.

Did I just write that? Anyway, if I let another doubles pair form, that means I’m guaranteed to have another pair of gay boys who are impossible to pry apart. Trying to keep Oishi and Kikumaru from getting caught is enough trouble, thank you...

*

Fuji apparently likes to flirt. I had to stop him and Ryoma from going at each other on the court in the middle of a thunder storm. Another ten minutes, and they would have been making out, audience or not.

So much for Nanjirou’s son being straight.

*

Ranking matches tomorrow. It’s going to be ugly.

Note to self: make sure club room has an attendant at all times to keep items from being stolen, since so many people will be going in and out.

Hopefully attendant will keep certain people from using it as make-out location.

*

I always knew Inui was obsessed with Tezuka, but it was rather interesting to see that obsession play out on the tennis court.

It must have been quite upsetting for Inui to realize that the last two years of his research have been pretty useless, since Tezuka is always going to be a better player, but if anything, he just seems even more obsessed.

The way he watched Tezuka... well, if Tezuka was a piece of cake, Inui would have eaten him in one bite.

Luckily Tezuka’s not anything edible... I hope? I still am getting flashbacks to that hickey.

Momoshiro was dropped from the regulars. I smell trouble brewing.

*

I was right.

The Golden Pair had a spat over Momoshiro and now aren’t talking. I should be relieved, because that means I won’t catch them making out anymore, but I know it’s going to just mean trouble for everyone in the end.

*

Fuji is a slut.

Fuji apparently decided the way he could be a good friend to Kikumaru was by “comforting” him in his period of loneliness. Sadly, it seemed to involve a lot of tongues, hands, and if I’d been five minutes later, I’m sure a lot less clothes.

Kikumaru had enough grace to blush and high-tail it out of there, but Fuji just said, “Ohayo, Sumire-chan!” before sauntering out like nothing was wrong.

I’ll “Ohayo!” him!!!

If anyone wonders why he and Kikumaru had an extra fifty laps, they can explain!

I forgot to wear my key ring, so I guess it was my fault I walked in on him and Kikumaru, but, dammit, did they have to use my office?

*

The Golden Pair is back together, and all is right with the world...

...and Tezuka had another hickey.

Someone shoot me and put me out of my misery.

*

No problems with Yamabuki, though Kawamura stayed after to talk to that psycho who was his friend.

Kawamura has some seriously questionable taste. First Fuji, now Akutsu?

I don’t care. It’s happening off my team, and I can pretend I don’t know.

*

I have learned to tolerate their gayness, really. I’ve given Ryoma up as a lost cause, and I’ve even decided that what Tezuka does is his own business...

But they can’t expect me to be calm about threesomes!!!

I was doing my final check after everyone should have gone home, and I walked in on... them: Fuji, Tezuka, and Ryoma.

All naked and in a pile on the shower floor.

Tezuka had the grace to look a bit embarrassed, but Ryoma just straightened his hat (why he was wearing his hat and not anything else I do not know) and gave me a smirk, and Fuji just opened his eyes and smiled.

I should kick them all off the team – but we’ve got to win Nationals this year, and if I kick them off, I lose my entire singles line up.

So what did I do?

I just told them to lock up when they were done. And left to go home and get thoroughly drunk. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is just see how many glasses of sake it takes before the world starts spinning.

Besides, next year has to be better, right? It’s not going to happen again. I mean, there’s only Momoshiro, Kaidou and Ryoma left...

Fuck. That’s a scary threesome.

END


End file.
